Adrie's Blog

Money and relationships

Last week I wrote part one on Cultural Differences and Networking.
I have had many reactions to that post, at the end of this one I will add two anecdotes which have been provided by readers.

As I often relate during my presentations, it is very important to start networking young. School is of course an important factor in that - and here you also see big differences between different countries. In the US, schools are generally speaking large - it's quite common there to start networking whilst in school, amongst others through participation in different sports teams organised and supported by the school. Being part of such a team, a smaller entity in the vast numbers of the school, creates a strong bond that can last your lifetime. In smaller countries, Universities aren't as big and sports activities are relegated more to sports clubs, like the large football/soccer clubs which are unrelated to the educational system but closely connected to a city. This is also a factor that can create a link between people.

In many countries, if not all, a relationship is based on long-term friendships and there is a tendency often to NOT do business with those long-term friends, or only very cautiously. That means that you might do business with those reporting to a friend, protecting the friendship and leaving it out of the equation.

In US, India and China, contacts and networking are often directly aimed at earning money. When, after a while, it turns out that there is not money to be made - the relationship is over. For me that is always hard to digest -- you may suddenly never hear from people with whom you were friendly for 10 years or more. I am of the opinion that a good relationship is above making money and survive throughout your life. Those are the people that will share your ups and downs, you make money together, you lose money together but the relationship rides it out either way. European, Japanese and Latin American countries are stronger in following this belief.

Southern European countries often have a closed core which is hard to penetrate. Even Belgium, just to the south of the Netherlands, is hard to do business with for a Dutchman - and most certainly so if you try and apply the Dutch methods of doing business. In Belgium it is a very small group of families that rule the country - it is said around 200. You see the same thing in Italy - doing business there also happens at a very different pace then for instance in the US. A good conversation over a lengthy meal is the first thing to do there - you have to allow people to get to know you first. Price of your product or service is subordinate to your personal relationship - and you should never forget that although you may build a strong relationship, you will always remain the foreigner.

It is interesting to see that even within a single country, usually one that is somewhat larger in land mass, there can be huge cultural differences. The south of the US acts totally differently to New York or Los Angeles. In the first it is more about the strength of your contact, in the second it's all about money. You see the same in Russia, China and India. You have to take the time to get to know these specifics in order to have any chance of success.

As the social networks grow and spread, many of these "closed" areas will be opening up. I think this is a good thing as it will allow the younger generation and entrepreneurs from less well-off families a chance to reach large groups too - locally as well as globally. But it will take time and you still have to consider whom you are dealing with and how to behave.
Even in Iran, it is now the social networks that are being utilised to fight the perceived injustice of the recent elections and fight those in power. In the end, networks such as E.Factor, Facebook and social media applications such as Twitter will eventually start to level the cultural differences, overcome them. Whilst I think this is a good thing in terms of opening up the world of communication and opportunity - I sincerely hope that that those original cultures will be maintained as they make up the wonders of this world.

Contribution by Ronald Zimet:

Dear Adrie, loved your story. I have made a lot of trips in the Far East during my business life. One example I like to
tell you. I visited Japan with a couple of my best pension fund clients. Our Japanese host had told me that he reserved
one of the best restaurant places in Tokyo. After being seated at the table we could clearly see that the cooks were
killing lobsters alive. I presumed killing alive is quicker than being put in a pan with cooking water, so we could live
with it. Our first dish however was soup. Looking at the soup I noticed waves. Looking better I noticed a couple of
fish swimming in the soup. My clients were in shock and asked me what to do. I asked our host for the procedure. He
showed and explained that we should bring the soupbowl to our mouth and showly take the soup inside while letting the
fish swim in our mouth as long as possible before swollowing it. My clients refused and tried to catch the fish with
their chopsticks ending the first course with a bloody mess. A cultural shock for all of us.

From Mike Wittenstein

In graduate school at Thunderbird, I was in the post office one day when a Chinese delegation came through on a tour to visit the school. All of them were looking in the same direction--at the wall-- when one of the group came over to inquire whose pictures were on display in a post office of all places. I told him that the images were pictures of our most wanted criminals and that we publish the pictures nationally so that everyone can help the police find these people. He thanked me, bowed graciously, and returned to his group. There were a lot of heads shaking up and down after he returned. Then, there were lots of furrowed eyebrows--expressions that showed me they were now unsure of what they just heard. A different visitor approached and asked me one simple question which I will never forget. He asked "Why didn't you keep them when you took their picture?" To this day, I don't know the answer ;-)

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